Definitely Not Mr. Darcy by Karen Doornebos

By Karen Doornebos

There's no position for satisfaction during this Austen misadventure.

Chloe Parker used to be born centuries too overdue. A thirty-nine-year- previous divorced mom, she runs her personal old letterpress company, is a lifelong member of the Jane Austen Society, and gushes over every little thing Regency. yet her company is failing, threatening her daughter's destiny. what is a woman to do?

Why, audition for a Jane Austen-inspired television exhibit set in England, of course.

What Chloe thinks is a documentary seems to be a fact relationship express set in 1812. 8 ladies are competing to snare Mr. Wrightman, the inheritor to a beautiful property, in addition to a $100,000 prize. So Chloe tosses her bonnet into the hoop, hoping to rework from stressed-out Midwest mother to genteel American heiress and win the cash. without cellphones, indoor plumbing, or deodorant to be discovered, she needs to tighten her corset and flash a few ankle to overcome out girls more youthful, extra cutthroat, and much less clumsy than herself. however the witty and speeding Mr. Wrightman proves to be a prize worthy profitable, no matter if it potential the gloves are off...

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Fiona turned to lead Chloe into the room. Chloe had to sign all kinds of agreements and go through a battery of interviews and medical and psychological tests for this documentary and now her own maidservant was probing about a man, too? Why was everything always about men? She was perfectly happy without one. Chloe stumbled, but caught her fall by grabbing onto the wooden coat tree on her way through the door. ” Fiona nodded toward the floor and took Chloe’s bags. ” That made Fiona laugh, and Chloe felt like she was making progress with her melancholy maid and had successfully dodged the man question.

Fiona held up two cotton half legs with ribbons that tied around the waist in the air. They were crotchless, bottomless, scandalous. The cameramen zoomed in on her. “They make a thong look uptight,” Chloe said. ” kind of way. The ribbons danced and dangled. Chloe figured women wore some kind of drawers under their gowns, not these things. Certainly, when she wore her Regency gown to a Jane Austen event, she wore her usual hose underneath. Austen never mentioned undergarments in her novels, and even though Chloe knew a lot about the Regency, her knowledge was by no means encyclopedic.

Of course, that white face paint proved to be full of lead and poisonous, even fatal, to women of the time. Still. No makeup was a bit too revealing. Chloe padded over to her vintage bag, cameramen behind her, in search of her concealer, and came across the foil-wrapped strip of condoms Emma had slipped her at the airport. With all those hot Englishmen in tights you might need III these,” Emma had said. “They won’t be wearing tights, Emma. ” “Anyway, I’m not going there for the men, and sex before marriage was a real taboo in Regency England.

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